Having broken up with Goran I squirrelled off into a corner to lick my wounds declaring to anyone interested in listening to my maudlin whines of heartbreak that I was done with dating. Meanwhile, some DID imp resurrected Amy’s profile and reactivated my OkCupid notifications so that suddenly I’m inundated once more with offers of mid afternoon sex and trysts with young men who could qualify as my own daughter’s toyboy. So I drag myself back to the app and was on the verge of hitting the button to disable the account when momentarily foiled by the site’s request for a password I’d long forgotten, I thought why not keep it. Tweaking it so that she doesn’t come across as completely slutty I manage to reduce Amy’s inbox and garner interest from men who have slightly more to offer in terms of conversation.
Well the dating merry go round began its rondel with a message from the librarian who told me that he had decided on monogamy after all with someone else, but I caught him visiting my profile several times over the last week. Clearly he was fibbing and I decided that he was not worthy of my time. I might have been curious in the past and asked what had happened but judge now that Amy should conduct herself with a greater modicum of self respect and not go after men who cannot make up their minds, especially at five minutes after hello. The next unsuitable date was with an American poly who was married and with several girlfriends. Interesting to talk to after downing several margaritas but just not that exciting in the sack.
There’s a date on Monday with someone who broke up last year with a transgender woman – I suspect my own motives for seeing him might not be entirely pure. He might not have completely got over her, similar to me not having entirely got over Goran (as much as I loathe admitting it, I know that there are still evenings when I think about how great the sex had been with him and wondering if I could have managed the relationship better). There’s also a second date with long distance bloke who is flying down from Inverness to meet me again and I hadn’t said no because I don’t think it could amount to anything serious.
Jan and I continue to meet up occasionally and talk about our dates. We have definitely evolved the relationship into a friendship without benefits. There’s a small amount of insecurity I suspect on both sides underlying our inability to ignite that sexual chemistry. For now we’re content with the platonic since we are able to enjoy sex with others.
Ramon has kept away out of a sense of chivalry I think, following his previous missive that he was still feeling stuck over the one who got away, and we have been unable to meet in any event due to mismatching schedules. There’s no one at the present who fires my imagination or over whom I am willing to unlock that keep which continues to stand watch over my heart.