Sex only, please

A recap of the week – met up with Tomas – not much happened apart from some sensuous stroking of each other’s naked bodies.  Some alcohol was imbibed – he’d brought champagne, which tasted delicious drunk from various parts of the other’s body.  No one interrupted our afternoon tryst and we said goodbye at the end of it.

Someone new, just a few months older than me wrote from the dating app and he seemed interesting enough for me to suggest a first and then second meeting. He had lived in Russia a couple of times which was experience enough to modify his initial (militant!) left-wing leanings.  Anyway, we fell into bed together almost from the beginning, at the end of the first date in fact; after the hit and miss, mostly miss efforts of Julius and Tomas, I was in sore need of some real action in the bedroom department.  This new man was keen and happy enough to be thus employed and it was a welcome break not having to worry about the complication of emotional connection.  I liked how he aroused me and was gratified that he proved sufficiently virile to initiate sex and orgasm no less than four times overnight.  We made a third date next week and perhaps it will become an almost certain pattern of once or twice a week, until I tire of him, or he me …  who knows.  I hesitate to give him a name, but ever the optimist that this may last a little longer than the usual, it would be apt I think if we all knew him as Alexander.

new year, new men

Dear Sally

In an effort to get over my crush on Goran I  returned to the dating website and weeded through the dross to find two reasonably decent people to get to know.  Both live just outside the M25 but it’s the quality of conversation that counts.  With one we’ve already established how similar our life experiences are, he’s just one step behind me having recently ended a longterm relationship and beginning to discover the joys or being single again.  We seem to read similar material and are both seeing married people at an insufficient frequency.  He said I really like sex … a lot.  To which I replied Yay! ditto.  I think we’ll get along well.  All that remains to find out is how good we’ll be in bed together.

The other man resembles a certain politician leader of the opposition (I blame the beeb for suggesting that he might be a sex symbol, it must be a subversive ploy by the government!) – down to the little beard and lithe body although he wears glasses, and is a little older than me.  We text chat and it seems to be going at a reasonable pace.  I marvel at our patience, but maturity and experience temper the rhythm in this dating malarkey.  We exchanged phone numbers pretty early on and have not swapped risqué photos – thank goodness.  Gone are those days – seedy shots of body parts are so last year.  We seem to have less in common compared to the other guy but it makes for interesting exchanges too.

I have managed to put Jan and Goran on the back burner as both are otherwise preoccupied.  Goran continues to dance to the tune of Mrs G who seems to be seeing her bf quite a bit at the moment judging by the number of messages he sends me when he’s left on his own.  I know that to onlookers it makes me look like a prop, and whilst I sympathise to some degree, he has made his decision to live by her rules.  I sense myself detaching from him for now although I do still occasionally check my phone to see if he’s online.

Jan felt a certain amount of uncertainty about his relationship with his NW.  He said that they’d already had a few spats but made up – all to do with his revealing that he was still in touch with ex-gfs and his recurring dreams about his ex-wife.   I can sense that this NW of his might be the possessive jealous type – how will it all play out?  I’ve kept my distance and await his reports.

On NY’s eve there was quite a lot of banter going on with Ramon and he’s always complimentary about me, mainly because I tend to compare myself unfavourably to him – his ethical lifestyle seems to make me feel unworthy some of the time.  I enjoy his company but never seem to be able to be myself, as if I have to maintain a jolly, silly front.

Liam and Max make dates over the next couple of weeks and I’ve even arranged to meet up with Goran’s ex-girlfriend who offered to dogsit for me whilst I’m away for my epic trip down under.  Michael sent me a sweet message over the NY.  I’d given him a poem as a Christmas present which his gf at the time tried to throw away.  We remain distant co-parents as things can never return to what they were.

That’s my news so far

Amy x

overtures of friendship

hey you.  fancy another movie and dinner date?

Hiya, yes I do.  When’s good for you?

The last movie and dinner date had ended with a bear hug and kiss on my left cheek goodbye.  I went home happy that the date with Ramon had been such a platonic success.  A couple of days later he sent me a message indicating that I had completely barked up the wrong tree:-

I have a confession to make…
You looked quite scrumptious the other evening

And I had to come home and spend some time looking at my photos of you

The photos he was referring to harked back to our days of passionate abandon when I had been giddy from all the attention he had been lavishing on me.   Our time together had been punctuated with misunderstandings and misreadings of intentions.  Eventually I’d fled feeling enormous embarrassment.  On my birthday he’d sent me a wish and about three months after that I suggested meeting up for a catch up.  A few months after that we caught up and then we had a repeat date – which had ended with the chaste hug..

Like a moth to a flame I dance back to Ramon even though I have an inkling that we’ll make the same mistake all over again.

a weekend without him

The man I’m regularly sleeping with is in an open marriage.  He told me that he never gets jealous and believes in being honest and upfront.  We’ve been seeing each other now for about three months and there have been thirteen dates.  The first one was just to have lunch and say hello.  There would have been a second to ease ourselves into a physical relationship because we were clear that this was going to be an adult liaison.  But he had to cancel and at the time I thought that he was just too flaky to rely on.  So I suggested that if he were serious about it he should book a hotel room and take it from there.

I didn’t really believe that he would actually do it. But he had booked us into quite a sweet little boutique hotel in the city and we spent a very enjoyable evening together exploring more than just the sights.  At first it was only a light flirtation as I had been a little enamoured over someone else who didn’t work out in the end until eventually Goran was the only one left standing.

I gave up most of my previous lovers for the other guy but somehow couldn’t turn the married one down.  Looking back at all the messages he’d sent me I realised there’d been at least one everyday since he made contact towards the end of March this year!  That in itself is remarkable as I hadn’t given him much thought then.

He gradually grew on me and to date I’ve written two poems about him.  The first was a little tongue in cheek as a birthday prezzie and the second was after our most recent date.  This weekend he’s going away with his family and I’m conscious that I might miss him.  It’s not the first time he’s been away since we’ve been seeing each other; there had been at least two other occasions.

His wife is a jealous type even though according to him she was the one who initiated the idea of an open marriage, being in a long term relationship with her own lover outside their marriage.  Still, a few times she’d rung him when we were on a date but it didn’t bother me.  I’m a bit of a commitment phobe and it suits me that he won’t leave his wife.

These days I often wonder what I am to him.