On Friday evening my diary entry was full of restless misgiving despite trying to be reasonable:-
This August my lover has strenuous work commitments on Mondays and Fridays which means that he is not up to going out for a date either before or on those days. We’re still so new it doesn’t quite bother me and he says he wants to give up this unreasonable rota. All the same I find myself waiting for his replies. We texted each other a little earlier and I wrote a reply to his email to me from last night. But it’s now 11 in the evening and I haven’t heard from him. He has a date with one of his other lovers this weekend and I’m busy anyway being a parent and going out with Max on Sunday so am not too perturbed about this.
I guess eventually this relationship will peter out into something lacklustre as infatuations cannot be sustained. And I really don’t like this feeling of uncertainty when my insecurities are given free reign to imagine that he’s had enough of me.
But then this afternoon I get two emails from him and am uplifted all over again! Especially since one of them contains a little lyric poem which he says he now imagines to be about me –
Upon Julia’s Clothes
by Robert Herrick
Whenas in silks my Julia goes,
Then, then (methinks) how sweetly flows
That liquefaction of her clothes.
Next, when I cast mine eyes, and see
That brave vibration each way free,
O how that glittering taketh me!