a conversation on ethical non-monogamy

I had a date with Max yesterday afternoon – it was a glorious day and we sat in the dappled shade under a tree which shed fragrant leaves. We talked about our relationships and he observed that I was quite taken with Julius. When asked what I admire about him, I said that it was most definitely his fund of knowledge, taste in music and art, and infectious enthusiasm.

I guess I am rather enamoured of J, but we are still pursuing a non-monogamous lifestyle at any rate, which is more than can be said for Max who seems to be in relationships with women who are looking for monogamous commitments. He reminded me that when we last met I had been on the verge of turning monogamous, or at least questioning the whole idea of non-monogamy.

Certainly I am still getting used to the lifestyle and ethics of it. It appeals to both of us I suspect because it means we need never have to end any relationship in order to meet anyone new. He has already met or at least is chatting to a few potential dates, although one appears to be long distance in a haven of peace.

We make tentative arrangements to join a book club to discuss The Ethical Slut and parted company after walking up the road to take a peek at the house his father first stayed in when he came to London as a boy.


My lover hasn’t been in the pinkest of health recently and in a sympathetic mood I called up an oldie to share with him:

Laid low, not by la belle dame
but a virus sans merci
I alternate between heat
and shivering clamminess
so that sleep eludes me
with an ache so unbearable
It leaves me trembling, wearied
Until I give in, reach out
For that panacea, one little pill
that sends me drowsily Lethe-ward
to dream of an angelic nightingale,
abandon my body to what she will
even as wing├Ęd Morpheus watches on
and softly weaves his soporific spell.