Friday night, like most of my other Friday nights of late, is spent at home keeping a troubled teen company. Occasionally I find myself whatsapping Goran, like tonight – it’s become a friendly routine with none of the emotional turmoil of last year. As he’s currently trying to forget his recent disastrous love affair, he has arranged to have afternoon tea with another potential love interest tomorrow. I surprised myself when I wished him luck how sincerely I meant it and bade him goodnight. I can still remember a moment the last time he stayed the night when I’d felt a slight tinge of irritation with him. I don’t think I showed it and was deliberately kinder and more hospitable towards him. He had asked for some water post-coital when I just wanted to fall asleep. All the same I got him some and we fell asleep together – later in the night, I crept myself out of his arms and curled up away from him. We had our usual three romps and breakfasted at our usual place. It was still fun being in his company but since he is reluctant to make any arrangements with me when his wife is coming over for the summer I don’t expect I shall see much of him in the next few weeks.
Ewan continues to send me text messages on an almost daily basis now that he has managed to get hold of a replacement phone, with snippets of holiday news – culture, ice creams, diving, the unfavourable exchange rate. I hear from him in the mornings before he sets off for his day. It’s very nice all this attention and I can’t help occasionally wondering whether he sends anyone else messages also. As a relationship anarchist this shouldn’t bother me … and it doesn’t, but I would just like to know – am I sort of the only one? Or if I wasn’t, then was I the one he’s a little more serious about? I remember that he had kept asking me to visit him in the highlands just after I’d got back from Oz until I’d actually gone up. We had talked, amongst other things, about his diving sprees. I’m still quite keen to learn to dive and hope that I might enrol on a course some time in the not too distant future; all this independent of whether or not Ewan and I continue to see each other.