The mirror I hold up today is you.

The first time we met,
was in the heart of winter.
We said our first goodbye
at the edge of spring.
A whole season slipped by
when I went away.
And when I came back
the sun had warmed the northern soil

Together we roamed this ancient land
the rock I touch, Lewisian gneiss
thousands of millions of years old.
The moss, heather and bracken
unusually dry, sit in between and on
these giants – Foinaven, Stack and Arkle
which change places as we drive through
the highland terrain of grey and green, and gorse yellow
at Kylesku, Glencoul and Eriboll
Ceannabeinne and Oldshoremore
where clear blue waters lap
gently one day, then wildly dark and white another
when skies turn black and thunderous, but by late evening
a rainbow amidst pale grey clouds promise
a morning of blue and golden sunshine.

The mirror I hold up is you –
in it I see someone bright,
kindly and hospitable.
So it’s easy to take on my role
when you beckon me into the big bed.
Too short again our time together as we kiss
and hold each other tight one last time.

What now?

I have reached a point where I look around me and think what’s it all been for?  I have been surprised at how the different relationships I have formed seem to work – down to the long distance and infrequent ones – but perhaps I don’t really take those seriously.  Ewan and I said our goodbyes when I left the Highlands knowing that if and when we next see each other the summer will be over and a lot can happen in a season.  Liam and I have re-established a regular pattern of dating once every other week, travel, work, and family commitments permitting.  It suits me for now because I am still wary of the hard work involved in a relationship.  And of course those that don’t work – I’m quite happy to consign them to the best forgotten bin.