On Tuesday evening I had an intimate date with Liam. After the previous one which ended with some very warm kisses in his high-rise office overlooking London I knew that I very much wanted to sleep with him and that he would not turn me down if he thought sex was on offer. So I invited him round and made some dinner, after which we made out in the front room before going up to my room. It was around half past ten when we finished and I went downstairs on the pretext that I wanted to read but ended up texting the other men before falling asleep. I had left Liam to sleep on his own and was down in the spare room. Only because I was aware that he slept better on his own and I wanted to be a gracious host.
In the morning I got back into bed with him and we had another romp – he tells me that I’m really sexy and I thank him. After breakfast and a few coffees we head out and I drop him off at the tube station as we go on with the rest of our lives. This evening we make another date next week and I wonder if he would keep it. When we had started going out the year before last he had been wont to cancel at the last minute. Eventually we had let the relationship peter out until he got in touch again more recently early this year.
On Thursday Ewan came round – it was our fourth date but we seem to have established an easy routine. He had a bath and then we went out to the local cinema to see Money Monster and have a light meal at Wagamama’s. There he bored me slightly by talking about AIMs. When we came back we chatted a bit more and finished a bottle of red he had brought. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but it struck me suddenly that he has quite a pleasing visage. I am curious about his wife and he shows me some pictures of her and his children. He gives me some more background details and I am fascinated by her mixed race roots. I wonder but don’t ask whether his wife really considers their marriage at an end. During an intimate moment he revealed that in my two month absence he had had sex with her. In the morning, despite being a little worse for wear we have another go – it wasn’t as exciting as the previous night’s passions but we managed to make each other orgasm. Later, having showered, we have coffee and breakfast and I wave him off at the door. He was going on to Norwich to meet with family solicitors. In ten days or so I shall be flying up to the Scottish Highlands where he will show me around his neck of the woods. I am suddenly quite excited by this prospect.
I had wondered in the middle of the previous weekend whether I could settle down with one man and if there was a flaw in my personality or character that no man seemed to want this of me or I of any particular one of them. But then walking back to my car from work today I decided that actually I was perfectly content to see the few men who are in my life at the moment. The fleeting moments of loneliness have not been so unbearable that I am willing to consider the complication and inevitable compromises of living with one man.