Constancy

Yesterday I told Goran, as we exchanged property with each other, that I’d like 4 months reprieve. And then today I went and invited him to an event with me for next week. What was I thinking?! We’d agreed that we would stay friends and I reiterated again that I hoped he and his wife might find some peace. He told me that she had been livid when she heard his ex-gf was now staying indefinitely as it were in their house and I told him that I could empathise with her reaction. I’d felt some disquiet myself last year when he told me that she had asked to stay at his house and told him that I predicted this very outcome.

I want to take the high road and resolved that the honest solution was to maintain a platonic relationship. But then again, and Goran also said that he was not entirely persuaded by my rationale.

He said he missed me and considered my 4 month cold turkey treatment unnecessary, but would respect my decision. I suddenly find myself unable to think clearly, as I realised that once more the dance of back and forth was about to restart. In the end I wrote him in quite some detail explaining how unfair he had been in not considering how I felt and we eventually agreed it might be best he didn’t show up after all at the event next week.

So far the dating has not brought forward anyone available for the long haul and I find myself almost tempted to return to the dating website. But only just managing to hold back as I wonder if Liam deserves another chance.

Last week my date with him had ended with more soft kisses before I took the tube home. We’d had another pleasant dinner and coffee date and I was glad that we finally made firm arrangements to meet up in Sydney in March. His work and family commitments – ancient parents, make it difficult for him to commit to a relationship, but I’m not in any hurry myself and so find myself quite willing to enjoy our liaison.

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