Jan came over last night and he and Amy celebrated the completion of his first piece of work this year. They continued to talk about their plans for the coming year and he shared with her his dating history this morning. She told him of her resolve to give up meaningless sex. They’re on a similar journey, hers beginning to take shape as she regained her sense of self worth. He is still seeing his NW although she seems to demand constancy from him and out of a respect for this Amy did not attempt to seduce him. They shared a bed last night, chastely cuddling up to each other.
They discussed dreams and he told her that he believes the characters that are in dreams are in reality aspects of ourselves – so that even when Amy dreamt of her father and ex-husband, these represented her own view of how she regarded what she was doing. He knew enough of her relationships with the two men to understand that the part in her dream of her father turning and running away from her and where she was sitting with Michael and Ramon was her own acknowledgment that he/she did not approve of what she was doing with her life.
It has certainly confirmed that what she had determined to do – break contact with Goran and anyone else she did not consider healthy for her development this year – to be right. Goran will continue to remain a friend and she hoped that she will come to appreciate him and not see him solely in terms of someone to have sex with.
Jan and Amy interpreted her childhood recurring nightmare of being crushed as being about the pressure and unhappiness which surrounded her at the time. It certainly sounds like a valid interpretation as it has not recurred since she left home.
When they parted this afternoon he asked her if she would have consented to having sex with him if he had made amorous overtures and Amy said yes probably as she still found him sexually desirable. She did not ask him if he felt constrained due to his relationship with NW but they agreed to meet up again next week and we shall all see what happens then.