My friend Max was the perfect partner to go and see that new film The Danish Girl with. He had told me last year when we were sharing our private thoughts that he often wondered if he was a woman trapped in a man’s body. I’d asked him what made him think that and he gave the usual examples of his empathy with those characteristics stereotypically associated with women – gentleness, desire for peace, and adeptness at compromise to avoid confrontation.
He was also generally abhorrent of violence and there were a few trailers before the film at which he flinched – The Revenant and Room. I must admit that I also found the subject matter of Room unsavoury and agreed with him that I probably would not go and see this film when it is released.
Afterwards we had some dinner and continued telling each other about our dating. He was seeing an attractive Goan woman who gives him some grief between dates requiring him to text her at a frequency he deemed excessive. I tended to agree that it was unnecessary to maintain daily contact and might be a tad artificial to insist – you either want to chat or you don’t – to insist that someone does so at prescribed times of the day somehow smacks of balls and chains.
At the end of our meal I gave Max a lift home and declined his invitation to go in. I was rather surprised he had asked when he did but on my drive home I recalled his emphasis when describing his current dates with Goan woman that neither of them had yet to see the interior of the other’s abode – her situation complicated by the fact that she was still living at home.
The following evening Goran and I had arranged to dine out of town at a tudor pub whose entrance doorway was so low he ducked rather than groused. We requested a table by the fire as it was absolutely freezing – the coldest night this winter. Several fires were lit around this rather sprawling pub/restaurant, so that was not too difficult and we settled across each other. Just as Max was ideal for the last film, Goran was the perfect gourmand for this quaint, renowned gastropub with its historical fayre.
We talked about what’s current in his life – it turns out that G’s ex-gf has manoeuvred herself to stay at his house whilst his wife and son are abroad. Since she was currently homeless and her leave to remain in the UK tenuous, both Mr and Mrs G thought it was the kindest thing to do, to let her stay in their guestroom. I quizzed Goran about the likelihood of their slipping into each other’s beds whilst she was there and he felt confident that he would not succumb. With each revelation of the goings-on surrounding Goran I find myself edging out of infatuation and can almost taste the freedom of being the mistress of my own heart once more.
Earlier on during the journey he had said he did not feel like being intimate and reasoned that it might have had something to do with this ex-gf turning on her charms and his turning off all feelings on that front. He was reluctant to fall into bed with her recalling the difficulty he experienced previously trying to extricate himself from their relationship. Later after the meal when we came home he seemed to change his mind and we romped about the house as we had done previously.
It was a busy week as I had a date to roam Lumiere London with Ramon the next evening and we rather impressed ourselves at how much ground we covered. I asked him in my rather indirect way whether he was dating anyone else and he teased me about my fishing. We might have carried on bantering the whole evening except that I felt rather disappointed my efforts in engaging him in more heart to heart did not get beyond “not since a rather exciting moment this year, I mean end of last year” as his memory failed his attempts at subtlety.
I wondered at my own fishing attempts over everyone’s dating adventures – I’m sure not everyone tells the whole truth however honestly they attempt to answer my probing questions. At the end of the week of busy back to back dates I know that I don’t want to sleep with Max still, Ramon appears to have a lot of personal hangups and I am no longer infatuated with Goran. Walter made a date to see me next week and Paul continues to update me on his sexploits with hints that I might enjoying accompanying him on some of his jaunts. To date I have not acquiesced.