Longing

trying to be me without looking at you
i glanced in the mirror, and winced
at the reflection of this person
is the only constant me?

where is the constant you?

is it the one who made the effort
to trek an hour and a half across London
merely to come and see me
or was that just a booty call?

even that is a constancy – the shag
we agreed at once a week, all things being equal
when neither of us is on holiday
or family duty

or is it the one for whom my heart beats a little faster
when I hear the SMS ping and glance down at the screen
and see his name with a message next to it
the one with whom I’m engaged in banter

but that’s an untold story
of what may come in the new year
and i must stay true to me
the only constant right here.

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